Luxana: Hmmm. Sit back and relax a minute, like you did in your dream. Close your eyes. Good. I wish I had a rocking chair... Kyle it seems to me that you may have missed some of the message in your dream. You have a lot of pain and regret and we may have quieted that down while you were asleep, but I think they're back in full voice shouting you down. Luxana: The way I see it, deep down you know outside forces twisted and ruined an important part of your youth, you even know that in the best of circumstances, society and other factors make it hard to learn about intimacy in a safe and healthy way. It's not too late, it's never too late. I've had men and women in their fifties and sixties tell me they're making up for lost time once they're aware of their own issues. Maybe this tough guy persona is really part of who you are, there's nothing wrong with being strong, but I think that you can pick out the worthy moral imperatives from the debris of your religious upbringing in order to avoid hurting people. Love isn't something that can be taught, you have to experience it. We get enrolled in that self-paced class the day we're born and we never really graduate. Luxana: Now, forget love for a minute. I want you to imagine finding someone who is kind and happy to teach you what you need and want to know about sex. What does she look like? What do you want her to show you? Take your time. There's no stopwatch running here. |